"What I Know For Sure, as a Mommy"

 

1) I'll never get caught up on laundry.

2) Within an hour of Kev going on an out-of-town business trip, someone will puke.

3) Just when I think I have it all put together, my wonderful, beautiful, astute, 8 year old daughter will shove it up my behind and teach me a valuable lesson all at the same time.

4) My children love when I put "Mommy Love Notes' in their lunches for school.

5) My children hate when I forget to put "Mommy Love Notes" in their school lunches.   

6) Out of all the screaming, Hi-DB (high decibel) "Mommy voices" at an ice hockey game, my son can distinguish MY voice.

7) The time I spend with my kids in the waning hours of the evening, laying in bed next to them, asking them the "best and the worst" part of their day and singing "Somewhere Over the Rainbow" are some of the best moments of my life.

8) The time I spend with my kids in the waning hours of the evening, laying in bed next to them, asking them the "best and the worst" part of their day and singing "Somewhere Over the Rainbow" are some of the best moments of THEIR lives.  How do I know this?  They've told me so.

9) Someone is going to need me in the middle of the night...any night...every night...

10) And I know for sure, that if I could stop time right now...that's what I would do.  I have no issues with diapers, potty training, strollers, cribs, bottles, or breast feeding.  I have no issues with drugs, sex, talking back (well, in all honesty, that's starting), boyfriends I don't like, girlfreinds I don't like and driving.  Life is good.  Time could stand still and I would enjoy every minute of the toothless smiles and the wants and the needs of semi-independent children who still love their Mommy and look up to their Daddy.  

But the biggest part about "What I Know For Sure as a Mommy" is that I'm blessed to be one and that the two souls who chose me to lead and guide them through THIS lifetime are amazing...and my time with THEM is amazing...and nothing, and no one can take any of that away from any of us.   

That's pretty much all I know for sure as a Mommy.  

The Santa Fantasy

So, laying in bed this morning with my two beautiful children when Elleyna turns to me and informs me that, two days ago, a sixth grade girl in the neighborhood told them that Santa wasn't real.  It's bound to happen at some point, I'm know.  Elleyna then asks, "So, are you the one that puts out the gifts marked "Santa"?  Um, really no room for wiggle here.  Those types of questions from her really confirm my belief that she's destined for law school. 

I asked her what she thought.  She indicated to me that she was "infinite % sure that Santa was real."  Danny chimes in, "I don't think Santa is a crook.  I think he's as Jolly as a Roger."  What "crook" had to do with the conversation, I really can't guess.  I asked him what a "Roger" was and he, well, he didn't really know.  That makes two of us. 

But my question is this;  to what degree do you "lie" to your children to continue administering CPR to the Santa fantasy?  At third grade and first grade, I would really like it to last a few more years.  However, I'm not overly comfortable with this new turn of events.  Elleyna, my lawyer girl with her pointed questions, makes it hard not to feel that I am truly lying to her face.  I'm hoping there are no perjury laws when it comes to parenting.  How old were your kids when they "found out"?  And how much is too much before you just tell them the truth?  Please discuss.

Cucumber Smiles




  An Expository writing exercise completed in school by my 8 year old daughter...word for word...no grammatical corrections...She is in third grade and this is the first year she has started writing actual essays.  I so look forward to more of these.  They are such a healing force to a long and tiring day.  Enjoy and I hope it makes you giggle as much as Kev and I did. 


The assignment:  Write an expository paper about your favorite food.  Tell what your favorite food is, how you make it and why it is your favorite food.

"Sour Power Cucumber Salad"

"My favorite food is cucumber salad.  The ingredients are 4 peeled and sliced cucumbers, Maggie, green onions, some tipe of seasoning I forgot the name of it and a few other ingredients but I forgot them.  After it's done it looks like a bunch of sliced cucumbers dipped in a salad dressing but its not just so you know. 

It tastes sour that's why I like it so much.  We have these big popcorn bowls and my mom would make the salad in it and I could eat the hole bowl and I would still want more.  Then one day, she made a salad with tomatos and cucumbers so when I was done eating my family was still eating but I went up to the counter and plopped my fingers into the salad and ate all the cucumbers exept a couple because I didn't see them but when I was done I said I now pronounce this salad cucumber free!!  Cucumber salad charges my happy batteries.  I like it because its sour and its awsome and because it was made by my mom."

Please share with me some of your favorite "writings" by your young kids!

Move Over Santa, the Halloween Witch is Coming to Town!




 




 

I signed the contract of a lifetime at Halloween of 2007.  My two proud little Power Rangers, then 5 and 4, sat amongst the mounds of multi-colored candy, happily surveying the rewards of their recent Trick or Treating efforts.  At least that’s how they saw it. 

My take was a bit different.  I scrutinized the colorful piles of tooth decaying, hyperactivity-inducing sugar bombs that had been tossed excitedly from their bags to the living room carpet with anxiety and disbelief.  The potential sugar intake was enormous.  And these two children of mine would consume every last gram if I let them.  Don’t get me wrong, I’m all for a couple pieces of candy now and then.  After all, I do indeed succumb to the undeniable chocolate cravings demanded by PMS more often than I care to admit.  But moderation is key.  There was no moderation in the piles of candy on my floor that evening.  I had to do something and I had to do it quickly.

“Look at all this candy!” I exclaimed.  “Esmerelda will be so proud of you!”  They both tore their gaze away from the candy stash and looked up questioningly at me. 

“Who’s Esmerelda?” they both asked at once.

The story came from my lips effortlessly, in a form and fashion that made me wonder if it had been heavenly inspired.  I explained that Esmerelda was the Halloween Witch.  “Ezzy” has green skin and purple hair and she wears the traditional black dress, hat and boots known to be worn by witches everywhere.  But her stockings are colorfully striped orange and yellow.  Esmerelda the Halloween Witch travels around the world on her Super Broom, complete with hemi engine, which moves her around the globe at a decent clip.  She collects Halloween candy and gives it to children who can’t, for whatever reason, Trick or Treat themselves.  Ezzy has a big heart and really wants to help those children. 

My children had forgotten the sea of candy they were sitting in by this time.  And frankly, I was impressing myself.  I don’t typically have the imagination for good storytelling. 

“Ezzy told me that if you guys helped her make Halloween special for those children, then something special, maybe even a toy, would come your way.” 

“I want to help!” screamed Elleyna.

“Me too!” cried Danny.      

They were on board now.  I told them that they could each keep ten pieces of candy which they could eat over the next few days.  The rest of their Trick or Treat candy had to be put in the brown shopping bag that I had placed in the middle of the candy-strewn floor.  Each child worked diligently at separating their candy into “gotta keep”, “like it” and “yuck” piles.  Their goal was the “Treasured Ten”.   When they were done and the brown bag was full of rejected candy, my daughter asked, “Now what?”.  I explained that that we each say a prayer for the children who don’t have it as lucky as we do.  And we did.  And then I told the kids that we had to set the bag on the step outside the front door so Esmerelda could pick it up while they slept. 

“How come Lexie and Riley don’t give candy to the Halloween Witch, Mommy?  It was my very astute daughter referring to her neighborhood friends.  Again, the answer came curiously easy. 

“Honey, there’s something called a ‘contract’.  A contract is an agreement between people or groups of people.  Mommy and Daddy signed a contract with Esmerelda.  We told her that we would help her help those children.  In return, she will do something special for you.  It’s possible that Riley and Lexie’s parents didn’t sign that contract.  Ezzy only comes to people who have contracts with her.” 

The explanation sufficed.  The bag went on the front door step.  The kids went to bed.  And I raided the gift box in the basement that I keep stocked with items that can serve as last minute gifts for forgotten birthdays and such. 

At 5 a.m. the next morning, my husband loaded the bag into the trunk of his car.  It was destined for his office and the colleagues with whom he works. 

 We placed one small gift for each child in the brown bag’s place on the front doorstep.  They woke up that morning and descended the stairs stumbling and running for the front door as if it were Christmas morning.  Move over Santa, the Halloween Witch is coming to town! 

The concept of Ezzy the Halloween Witch has served our family well for three years now.  To date, neither of my children has had a cavity.  They both believe that good hearts and good intentions do not have to be contained in a body with Hollywood good looks.  And every Halloween serves as another opportunity to say a prayer of good will for those who are not as fortunate as we are. 

My husband’s office mates give thanks as well, though I cannot attest to their cavity count.  Production is up, however, so I guess there’s something to be said about hyperactivity in the workplace. 

We have renewed our contract with Ezzy for yet another year.  The kids are thrilled.  So am I.